There’s a certain sadness that comes with birthdays. It’s like the dying of a favourite song or a sinking helium ballon. This year I wanted to sit with the sadness so I turned my phone off and spent the day by myself. There is always so much pressure to have a good day on our birthdays and we tend to rely on other people so heavily for our happiness. They can make or break our day. Perhaps we need them to soothe the yearly reminder of our own mortality or to validate that our lives bring meaning to the world. Or maybe it is because birthdays are the one day of the year we are forced to look ourselves in the eye, and we try to avoid that the same way we find any excuse not to meditate. Can we forgive what we see? More so, can we love?
This year I had a great day celebrating myself - I bought myself balloons, I went to Lorne and I wore my favourite undies - and in terms of happiness I am reminded of a quote by Robert Pirsig. “The only zen you find on top of the mountain is the zen you bring up there.” The only happiness you find on birthdays is the happiness you bring yourself every other day of the year. And anything else given to you?
Well, that’s just a bonus.