There is a Chinese proverb that reads, “A Journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” This week for the first time I feel I have arrived at a destination.
It’s been a long time walking. The journey, which is really just an introspective exploration of the self, started for me when I was about 19 years old when I first became interested in psychedelics and Eastern philosophic concepts.
Looking inside is hard because there are a lot of truths we don’t like to see - be it the things we don’t like about ourselves, the traumas from our past, or the mistakes we have made. Psychologist Carl Jung says we repress these aspects into our unconscious mind to form what he calls the ‘shadow self’. After we bury them into the dark crevices of our minds we run away and call it a good work ethic.
When I first started the journey I saw too much too soon. I hadn’t yet come to understand the concept of self love, and so I dived deep into the shadow and judged everything I saw. Self love is important when finding who you are because if you don’t like what you see, you will never return. And so I didn’t return, for about seven years. But the calling never went away.
When COVID forced me back home I from travelling I felt so lost and confused as to what my purpose in life was. I had nowhere else to run and so I finally looked inside. This is how I found the trail again. The more I connected to myself, be it through meditation, breathwork or plant medicine, the clearer the trail became.
What I’ve learnt about purpose is that your purpose is not one single pointed thing. It’s not a career path and it’s definitely not something you can see more than one step ahead at a time. It’s the journey inwards, the Journey of self discovery, and jobs are just a consequence of this - something you put out along the way. Your purpose is YOU.
For the last two years I have been walking this path while still feeling unsure about exactly what MY path was. I always feel like I am walking in the dark. For some reason, the recent act of posting my first Mewsletter and MEW Story video video in the same week made me feel like I have finally hit my destination.
It’s because those two acts were acts of declarations to my path. I’ve accepted the journey is my life, is my path, and now I’m learning to build my life around the Journey. I know if I stay focused on this path and allow this to become my priority everything will work out around me. That’s faith. While I feel so relieved to finally have clarity about what I’m supposed to be doing with my life, the truth is I was always on the path. Clarity comes with time and hard work.
I don’t want to sugar coat it - It’s not easy to walk this path.The journey is incredibly painful and lonely. It’s hard to look inside and face truths about yourself, it’s hard to accept change and it’s hard to walk away from your old life. But the truth is it’s harder not to. It’s harder to feel lost. It’s harder to feel empty. It’s harder to watch life pass you by and feel like you are not really experiencing it. It’s hard to live a life that lacks purpose, meaning and divinity. If this is you, please know you can find all of these things inside of yourself, if only you have the courage to look. And remember, the more you love what you see, the easier it is.
The journey of following your heart is a terrifying walk into the darkness. Take comfort knowing there are many who have walked before you. Take comfort knowing there is a community here to walk beside you. Because the journey of a thousand miles is not an easy one to walk. But the first step is deciding you are worth it.
Quote - "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate." - Carl Jung.
Podcast - How to LIVE YOUR MISSION in Trying Times W/ Erick Godsey | Aubrey Marcus Podcast
Book - The Lion Trackers Guide to Life by Boyd Varty
Course - The Dharma Journal by Erick Godsey