mew poetry 17-21

mew poetry
Baby blue eyes bathed in baby blue light,
Blue insides, waves and days of gloom life,
White little lies would break my baby boys heart,
High rise tides pull a damp soul apart.
A love that feels like eating glass,
Is one that you should better pass.
You should have told me
you had given up,
On true love.
A sinking balloon
A palm tree in suburbia
The fading scent of a lost lover
Life
A dimming dream
A message screamed
My insomnia is creeping back
Can’t fight the shadows in my mind
I know I must leave like Simba
Can’t leave this paradise
The hole inside grows larger
The voice inside me screams
The more I run the louder
Obligation kills
Life is passing by
I’m always watching, waiting.
How easy to convince a lie
That one day you will chase it.
I make all my mistakes public, that’s fine,
Maybe that will give you all permission to try,
Judgement is a wall that is used to divide,
Forgive yourself and others still finding their light.
It’s always inside, it needs love to thrive,
If a snake doesn’t shed its skin it will die.
Living my life, spending my time, breaking apart, my own mind,
Tryna realise, and then decide, what thoughts I have, are really mine,
Tryna pretend, I understand, who I am and that I’m friends,
With the devil inside, start again, we can mend, and take our time.
Trying, trying, trying, trying; he told me just to be.
Being is a state of mind but mine is lost in me.
A ghost that floats across the roads within my own city.
Can I find my own mind in the shadow of dis ease?
Once I broke my ego down I lost all sense of me.
A stranger in the mirror is the reflection I did see.
Esteem became a memory and confidence a dream.
Help me find my purpose is a prayer that I would plead.
I was saved from my own ways when self love was redeemed.
When I mended, I remembered, that I am a Queen.
My shadow self is here to help and not my enemy.
Now I break apart down to my heart what’s not serving me,
Pulling weeds and planting seeds of positivity,
To lose your way is to stray from creativity,
I know today I'll never stray from my own journey,
You know the one, you have won, when you just believe.
I know I’m feeling low cos I need to keep on weedin',
Getting high off the truth in my lil garden of Eden,
Took the red pill now it’s demons I be seeing,
Suddenly I’m naked, that bliss was all deceiving,
Was it God or the snake who really was misleadin’,
And is this good or evil that really is within me,
Feeding these demons inside me I perceive them,
Deceiving and strateging, I’m fucking sick of dealin,’
Maybe I should dance with them instead of always fearin’,
Maybe there’s a lesson but I’m fucking sick of bleedin',
But I refuse to be leaning like it’s the only thing relieving,
Refuse to stay kneeling when I know I can be breathing,
Allow the tears to rain, allow myself the grieving,
Allow the growing pains hurting like I’m teething,
Let myself keep feeling cos I know feeling is healing.
Sing tomorrow will be brighter, just keep believing.
So if you came to tear me down boy then you had best be leavin',
Cos if you could see the demons in my mind you'd know that facing you was easy.
I look inside, it’s water, it comes leaking out my eyes
My heart is drowning, so is my mind, both lost inside your lies.
The disguise you sought to keep me in instead keeps me aside
A part of me is bound in ties to leave our love to die.
Trust and anger and fear and rash and words I cannot eat
You cut my soul to fit your box but I’m no one you can keep.
Here I go alone again, a record on repeat.
Rather be alone than be an expectation I cannot meet.
Fisheye sky and twilight lights
Sparkle in the sky turn night
Riding on the back of your bike Thought I’d be here my whole life
Palm tree leaves sway on the breeze
Feel your kiss and my weak knees
Blue sunshine and soul at ease
Dancing mist of memories
We walk the same path, but from opposing directions
Both views are true, but mine not respected.
Yin to Yang, wisdom is balance.
Have you noticed what we hate in each other is our own reflection?
Collateral for each other’s own demons.
But you cannot forgive what is not repented.
Sadness is saying goodbye to a person's potential,
But if they won’t grow, they slow your own vessel.
It’s not you, not me, both good intentions,
Just not the right teacher for you and this lesson.
Forever each other; red string, connected.
I must walk alone now, time for crystallization.
1 John 4:8